PROJECT S.T.E.F

A.

2011-10-15T21:08:00.000+08:00

and listens; she wants to be better than she already is. Her hazel eyes glitter as her friend asks if she is vegetarian. She says nothing through her mouth of dark chocolate, she only shakes her head. After swallowing, she explains that she merely likes vegetables for their softness.

I remind myself that she is not who I think she is, or thought she once was. She grins as she moves to playfully smack her friend on his shoulder when he calls her weird for talking to herself. Oh, I’ve heard you talk to yourself before, he says, don’t deny it.

She says she doesn’t, and he must be hearing someone else. Another friend of hers sits down on the floor next to the two and announces that her kindergarten teacher used to tell her mother that she talked to herself. The eyes of the two widen as they jokingly tell her that they do not know her. They laugh.

I am not sure myself that this is true, for I only know so much about her. I do not blame her if she does, this world is lonely sometimes and sometimes you just want to be alone. She rides on the race horse of life so swiftly with the elegance of a dancer that she is not, and she makes taming a wild beast so very simple. I have not managed to tame mine yet, but I know now from her that it is not impossible.

As she leaves us through the glass doors, I see her eyes begin to panic despite the charming smile she smiles. I see her begin to long for an escape and she slowly plans a route she would use for it. I no longer see, but I now know that her mask is beginning to slip away, like a note that fell out of a coat pocket and into a torrential rainstorm. But I have not an idea if she knows what I do.

She is lucky, for her mask is temporary and if anyone can get close enough to her and unlock her real self, she no longer is required to wear the mask. For once she can run with the cheetahs, who too long for an escape, and dance on the tree-lined pavement outside an embassy in the rain like it is no body’s business. She will be free, one day, that is what I can confirm.

And whatever's left of that little box that beats in your chest

2011-10-12T22:10:00.002+08:00

these are the stories the ones you might find and try to rip out of my claws. these are the stories that hurt and are threaded with dreams and nightmares and fears and feathers and ghosts of a past. these are the ones that i don't tell, because this is where the sandstorm rages and the path is of darkening asphalt and the wolves howl at the moon that isn't there and the birds scream and somewhere else, under a paper moon, there's an everlasting downpour.

here, my heart is bone-dry and bone-weak.

and miles to go before i sleep.

2011-09-04T22:20:00.003+08:00

and miles to go before i sleep.

it's been real, and i say that a lot. this whole year, has been so real. and what am i saying anymore?

my birthday's been real, the grade camp's [still have to blog about that] been real (i really know who's got my back this time) and i'm so so so thankful for everyone and everything, although times like this i wished they -them from a fencer's past- cared. so many people actually do care about me. i live in the present, breathe in the present but my hurricane of a heart lives here, here, there, and everywhere. of course i miss them, and it'd be nice if they cared. it all boils down to what i can let go, i guess. i'll let go one day, hopefully soon, but not tonight.

290811

She grows up today, whether she likes it or not. Storm in her eyes, a lump in her throat, flowers in her lungs and lips in a growing smile, she will face the world with her hurricane heart heavy and light,

(our hearts are heavy and light)

whether she likes it

or not.

we are just misguided ghosts

2011-08-23T23:11:00.002+08:00

Once upon a time, when i was small and young and innocent, back when i thought the stars in the skies shined for people like us; i read this story. Now you see, I thought this story was written about us; a trio of kids, barely teenagers -now don't you dare tell me, that you didn't feel like we were on top of the world- going on adventures and having the times of our lives and smiling like we felt infinite; smiling like we were infinite.

When I grew up -barely a summer ago, dare i admit- and everything froze over, I realized it was truly nothing more than just a story; a fairy tale i think i had spun in my head, a fairy tale that just had to end because i'd bleed with every word.

follow the lights to the city (II)

2011-07-20T01:25:00.002+08:00

15.

Well, I wouldn't know. I looked over Part (I) and cried. I left and I can only wish you the best.

for always, forever, or maybe not.

2011-07-20T01:09:00.002+08:00

i miss it.

there, i admitted it.

but look, there's no point. no effing point. i don't care. i don't really like the people anymore, they probably never even liked me. i'm stupid for thinking we were even friends. i always ask myself, 'whatever the actual fuck happened', and sometimes, when i'm alone, i just want to scream but it feels as though my lungs are punctured, and there's a sword down my throat; tell me, i'll fix it! just stop being mad at me! actually tell me what happened!

honestly, i don't even know why i care. maybe i only miss it so much because nothing can fill the lacuna in the manuscript of my life, and i'm clinging onto the past and ohmygod really, i shouldn't have opened up the diaries i kept when it had it all. but was all a dream, all a stupid dream, you stupid little girl, your stupid little past is just a patchwork of stupid little memories.

well, the sentence i just typed; i don't care? what a lie.

of course i still care. i just like to think i don't. i like to think that i truly got bored, and that the fire in my heart never left. but it did. it freaking did.

ugh.

and all the streetlights shine like they are stars

2011-07-17T18:21:00.005+08:00

this year has been, on the whole, mostly pretty damned amazing.

it truly seems that there's more to this place that i ever knew.

school's been out for the summer, and back to hell in a while. but until then, i'll be here, here and there. i guess it's nice to be back on blogger, just for a tad bit, away from those who know me. but i've linked this to my flavors.me, so hmm.

anyway, gah, i wanted to visit Tanjong Pagar Railway on its last day today with G but my mom said i wouldn't have the time to. but look at all the time i have now. -___- I originally planned to go on friday evening, to get gorgeous sunset shots (and since i have a tripod, hohoho), but it freaking rained on me. ugh. #asiangirlproblems.

we'll still have the summer after all

2011-05-09T14:00:00.001+08:00

this has been a good year, just a nice, simple report.

despite the inferiority i feel almost all the time, things have been good.

they've been better.

But it's our actions that make us who we are.

2010-12-10T20:50:00.001+08:00

School's out.

Leaving for Egypt in a bout a couple of hours.

Ohmygod. Things have been insane. I don't know why but I don't feel right and I'm probably gonna go to the airport with this sick feeling in my gut/heart and I'll be wondering what's going on, being away for so long and then I don't know what to expect when I return, it's like leaving something wild to grow while you're away, and you don't know what's your gonna get.

Love all, but trust a few.

2010-11-22T17:28:00.003+08:00

-William Shakespeare

The only consistent thing in life is the inconsistency. I don't even know anything anymore.

On the bright side, I watched HP 7 with Nicola and Sam and Shakeera last week. Then had dinner with Kimverlyn and her senior, whose name i sorta forgot. Dinner with someone whom i've known for ages is somewhat comforting.

School's going to end soon, in less than two weeks. I don't know if i should be happy about it.

The present is what i have

2010-11-01T22:48:00.003+08:00

5 more weeks. or was it 6? whatever, whichever.

things have been insane lately. my past and consistence is all falling apart at the seams. what's wrong with everyone? sigh, whatever. i'm tired of drama that doesn't involve me.

ugh, i think my group's screwed for drama class, but i'm not going into detail.

sometimes i wish i could just change one little bit of my past. three words. three words. what the shit. anyway, school's been pretty fine.

i freaking need a new passion. bah. funny how i can be in a roomful of laughing people yet feel so alone at times. okay, that's all for now before i begin puking out my past in words.

tah.

i hope you're alright.

So What If I Said

2010-09-30T12:08:00.002+08:00

I've got nothing to lose.

I'll say it, I'm sorry. I'm sorry I let you down.

But I've run so far away there's no way I'm coming back.

200TH POST.

2010-09-04T16:49:00.002+08:00

on my 200th post, after not blogging for such a freaking long time, i announce that i sort of moved to tumblr! (: blogger's sorta tedious. :x

anyway, this is my new link, although i'll be on here sometimes.

Steff's awesome Tumblr (x

Setting up Sundays

2010-07-26T15:09:00.004+08:00

1 am, monday morning. undo,

uncare, unwind, erase.

trying to remember the past few years and i surprisingly recall everything i want to, in sharp detail.
well, i want to forget, forget all the time i spent and wasted and laughed here, for am i tired.
exhausted to the bone, drained and sucked dry.

those sundays we spent. and i realized so much of my teenage life outside school was spent on sundays. lousy afternoons playing with sticks of silver and tugging at metallic heartstrings.

goodbye to you, all of you. sigh.

"Setting Up Sunday"

Setting up Sunday
Watching the winter grow so, oh, no
We're making excuses
For insecurities
It's not about me
Oh, it's never about me

Now I can't go on
I'm lost and alone
Now my lovers gone
I'm lost and alone

Kid, I'm right here
and I'm not leaving
There's no way to make you stay
But, I'm saving all my worries for
The day you don't need me

We're selling out Monday
Watching the children grow, so cold, no
Oh they're wearing our hands down
Our human frailties
It's not about me
Oh, it's never about me

Now I can't go on
I'm lost and alone
Now my lovers gone
I'm lost and alone

Kid I'm right here
and I'm not leaving
There's no way to make you stay
But, I'm saving all my worries for
That day you don't need me

Kid I'm right here
It's now morning
There's no way
Please stay

We're Setting up Sunday
Watching their hearts in soil,
Grow mold..

another day gone by with broken dreams

2010-07-02T22:15:00.000+08:00

started and i don't want it to end, dammit.
up till the sky turns red and i realize it's a bad idea every morning.
don't wanna go freaking back. -insert terribly irked noise here-
well.
*strikes out what i was going to say*

{image from collapsingnight.livejournal}

Screw the fairytales and the happy endings

2010-06-03T23:42:00.003+08:00

bleaugh.

everything is shit, so there.

not a freaking taylor swift: no fairytale endings, no random senior like in fifteen and no love stories. save me now from what im gonna become.

oh and i swear, this place needs a revolution.

Take my hand and We will Run Away

2010-05-30T18:29:00.005+08:00

Hollywood infected your brain

couple of weeks ago in RME class [religion/religious and moral ed], we discussed many things. the difference between what the genders look for, the media, a concrete example of beauty. checking out everything involved: fashion magazines bearing miniature-sized models parading down runways clothed in couture, video clips on how people in ads are so photoshopped and fake, crazy buff people, the perfectness of porn stars and the crazy like.

our idea of beauty is so distorted.

don't let yours be.

Calm your nerves now

tioman's really calmed me down now. a lot of things happened, things that i'll never forget. i sound so mushy nowww. haha. i'm missing last week already!

the cab is my new favourite band.

I've only got forever

wheee, going out with Kimv and Yin Hui next week! and tomorrow i'll be studying with MZa for a week at least.

For a week, for some change.

all images from inspireoncemore.livejournal.com (:

The one with many possible titles.

2010-05-29T17:18:00.004+08:00

image from collapsingnight.livejournal

back from tioman! it was in short, pretty awesome.

trekking through dense undergrowth and jungle-like terrain, kayaking through beautiful aquamarine waters so clear you can see the bottom and white sands bearing resemblance to creamy velvet particles.

the cabins were simply pretty and everything that happened there was so utterly surreal and fun.

thought it'd be an utter horror staying with a class i got assigned to, but they're alright and pretty cool.(:

waterwars all over the place since we had hoses to clear water buckets and stuff. hoses were able to blast ice cold water, but it was difficult to aim far without unplugging the freaking hose.

oh well.

it was awesome, and i really wish for one more day.

the battle scars are fading, the tan is here to stay and so are the memories.

won't tell anybody your voice is my favourite sound

2010-05-19T23:55:00.003+08:00

from inspireoncemore at lj.
haha, okay, late post but i just feel like it.(:
today was surreal, actually just the past few days.
usually im just mneh about school, cant really click with my batchmates.):
but i think im getting the hang of it.(:
shit, cant wait for friday! IJ fiesta, here i come. :D
and then holidays in a few weeks.
ugh. im becoming my senior, and picking up his screwed up sleep cycle:
go home, work, sleep, work, sleep until late.
ah well.
should go sleep now. goodnight.(:

Effed up and screwed over.

2010-05-17T23:40:00.003+08:00

from brightblinds at lj.
i just feel so bloody awful, for everything i've put everyone through. meant for someone, but i'll doubt she knows this page exists.
so, here we go:

effed up and screwed over.

SCREW IT. I'M TIRED.

Party with us and you'll be fallin' in love

2010-05-16T23:05:00.004+08:00

banner from crushedrainbows.livejournal.com

school's ending soon! can't wait.(:
anyway, again, here's soemthing i wrote, for all the things everyone's forgotten, or for everything everyone thinks everyone has forgotten X)

When you asked
what are we talking about, i told you to check the texts. but you couldn't
because you cleared them all. why, i
asked, do you clear?
"it makes me feel better?"
"but you forget!"
"maybe that's just what i need. what
we all need; to forget."

i know, sorry if i blog shit.(: but it makes me feel better.
aha, okay got to go sleep now. byee~

Turn a page, I'm a book half unread

2010-05-12T18:20:00.006+08:00

from inspireoncemore.livejournal.com

UGH..

last week thursday i woke up with a scratchy hoarse throat, but my grandma told me to go to school, so i did.

on sunday morning, i sounded like i was going to die. O.o but being my dumb self, i thought it was just the morning hoarse throat thing, so i ignored it. when i got to catechism class, i found that i couldn't really talk, but continued to until i seriously couldn't talk and no voice escaped my mouth.

then come sunday night, i was pondering if i should go to school. i went, again, stupid, dumbcrap mistake.

monday after assembly, i was croaking and the teacher couldn't hear me when i told her i had to go home. went home, slept a while, and went to go see the doctor.

my MC was only two days, and i learnt from my younger, conniving sister that you could actually bargain for more days on the mc. should've done that, but then i'd be drowning in crap work once more.

for a new school i thought would be pretty slack, it's not very slack, sadly.

Maybe it's the stardust in my head

2010-05-06T21:52:00.006+08:00

listening to: the mess i made-parachute// 1985, Almost- bowling for soup

reading: the life of rome's first emperor, Augustus

eating: a cheese sandwich

went out with clarissa, rachy and lyani on saturday! awesomeness.(:

bought a couple of drinks and food, i'm sure the people working there will eventually recognise us.(: haven't seen them in so long, it was just epic catching up with them.

they were studying, so hardworking! :D llama brought her mac, but didn't really let me touch it. >:

aha, anyway, they studied and we all chatted like crap, then had to go out to take pictures for a photography assignment, which mainly led to the picture of rachy's hair.

i wonder if my senior can figure out what it was.

UGH. alright, when i post the pictures it turns out way too gigantic for the skin. so no pictures. ):

Postcards

2010-05-05T19:35:00.003+08:00

by Wendy Cope

At first I sent you a postcard
From every city I went to.
Grüsse aus Bath, aus Birmingham,
Aus Rotterdam, aus Tel Aviv.
Mit Liebe. Cards from you arrived
In English, with many commas.
Hope, you're fine and still alive,
Says one from Hong Kong. By that time
We weren't writing quite as often.

Now we're nearly nine years away
From the lake and the blue mountains,
And the room with the balcony,
But the heat and light of those days
Can reach this far from time to time.
Your latest was from Senegal,
Mine from Helsinki. I don't know
If we'll meet again. Be happy.
If you hear this, send a postcard.

The mess i made

2010-05-01T11:24:00.002+08:00

the show's over. dim the lights, kill them. they're no use anyway. draw the blood-red velvet curtains and stare at the empty stage, where the spotlight still shines, for some reason or another. maybe to counter the curse, i don't know.

the show's ended. why aren't you leaving?

Follow the lights to the city

2010-04-05T13:58:00.002+08:00

from collapsingnight on livejournal.

11.
I met you. Well, the both of you actually. Swaggering in, blades in hand, smirking and acting as if you two owned the world. But you did, back then. Jokes and laughter, a whole lot of it. So simple. Innocent, if you wanted. At least more innocent than the present.

12.
We all three held the pressure together. Like how that Greek dude held up the sky in the garden with the dragon and rumored golden apples. [i think it is so.] I got the juice that spilled into liquid gold pools on the cool, solid marble. You got a bite of the sweet fruit, understanding why the dragon was there. He got it on a silver platter, standing in glory amongst everyone. We were all in that quest together; three is better than one.

13.
We all moved up. I couldn't see any of you as mature. I only see you as the crazy, fun-loving dude who got prank-called by my two idiotically gigglye friends on a wednesday afternoon. i only see him as the one who told me it's prefectly alright if i sucked at first; it's called trying again. that's what i'm doing; thank you very much. trying again to picture you all as people anew. i seems, that curiously, i cannot.

14.
Years fly by; now, that's incredibly fast, isn't it? it seems like only yesterday we were back in the homey studio, sipping drinks out of colorful cans as we swapped school-life stories. now we're moving away, the bittersweet truth, walking in different directions. i think we're all wondering where the hell all this stupid decision making will lead us.

The Last Thing On her mind is Growing Up

2010-04-01T00:19:00.003+08:00

[from collapsingnight]
gosh, it's been a long time?
im on vacation, and i am absolutely thrilled to escape high school.
i just feel like i need to retreat.
on a random note, since you are already here, read this.
it seems very inspirational, but don't spam me if you're american or something.
just my views.(:
--
i hope i can keep a few shreds of sanity left, so few are hanging on spools, hidden in the skies' threads.
reflections in the sparkling frozen lakes lie, the skies are burning, slowly fizzing out like bubbly champagne. dancing with wolves, lions and other big animals are risky, but it helps to make alliances.
but how can you make alliances when you were tossed into the war late, when people have already made allies and enemies, and when lives have practically been taken?

It's time to try defying gravity

2010-03-14T20:46:00.003+08:00

life has been super vexing lately.
sometimes you have to be silent to hear the breeze and the drizzle and the music coming out of the practise rooms. more than a little late, but i think im going to try reading music, before i go insane at the thought of being handicapped for classes i'd get graded on.
-----
laughing and showing me how to do things right, sitting and joking on wooden benches as if we knew each other so much longer than the few half hours we actually did. at one of my last obssessive counts, hoping you would finally come back here, it was twenty-two or maybe tewnty-four months. i was gazing at you as if you were some sort of magic, all my wishes come true and how much older and wiser you are than me. but when i think about it now, you're not even old enough to drive, or that trip to Jordan.

She was his yellow brick road

2010-03-03T22:24:00.003+08:00

just like the reference to the wizard of oz.
finished with the entire season of glee, pretty epic, understand what the craziness is about.
thank goodness for FS, if not i would have to find away around the school trip.
today, i realized that jerks and bastards are probably in your life so you don't get too freaking cocky and ensure that you keep on pushing so you perform better.
maybe i just have an really odd way of reading things.
sadly, nothing truly epic has happened.

Dancing through life

2010-02-26T23:19:00.004+08:00

i don't dance, but felt that it's somewhat appropriate.
school's been floating by and haven't been bothered to catch hold of it.
freaking tioman trip. few days in hell with the tutor group and other tutor group.

it's amazing what a couple of hours with friends can do to you.

The heart knows reason that reason knows not of

2010-02-24T19:46:00.004+08:00

or something like that.
had a rough day, so exhausted by the jerks and idiots of this school.
well, thats what the other friends are for.
i havent debated or argued or really spoke in a long time.
i should speak up more.

And then it hit her: he wasn't his and she wasn't his.

2010-02-18T23:43:00.003+08:00

the title's from some random friend's fb status. or something like that.
it's been a crummy week; sprained ankle, sick again, and phone screwed.
my mom was trying to fix my phone and then she was like, "oh im going to master reset your phone so you'll lose all your messages" there is no sad face-thingum to describe how much that saddened me like crap.
it's like having a wonderful life and then having amnesia.
or in short, losing all your memories you've saved in a fragile crystal box with a glass lock and glass key, when you've been forgetting things you shouldn't be forgetting and you truly do wish to remember, because sometimes memories are what keeps you moving forward, what forces you to roll out of bed when dawn breaks, what is the concrete of friendships and trusts and relationships and the like.
sometimes they're what keeps you alive.

Losing You Was Something I could Handle

2010-02-17T18:46:00.003+08:00

went out with clarissa today to starbucks(:
did 2.4 run and another 2 for cycling. ah.
sometimes it's just fun to sprint down hills, without a single care in the world, feeling the wind slice through your hair and ignore all the pain for a few blissful moments.
but all the pain comes back when youre at the bottom of the hill.

reading: foxtrot
listening to: the white tie affair
feeling: exhausted

I'm Sorry But You Never Knew

2010-02-14T22:52:00.008+08:00

im sorry, please deal with my shitty titles now.
im brainless whenever is tart to post.
so, happy valetnine's day, and cny, for those who celebrate it.
watching percy jackson and the lightning thief tomorrow with nicola and alex (:

first 2 from crushedrainbows, the 3rd from brightblinds, and someone please tell me if they know the origins of the last. O;

All the girls in the bathroom talking who they gonna take to the Sadie Hawkins

2010-02-12T20:49:00.004+08:00

gosh, school has been draining the life out of me. considering everything,
from how my homeroom is to the fact that i am ill. agh.
sucks to be sick. grr.
so little time for anything else besides school and ccas and fencing.
no life anymore! thought this school would be so slack, but i am so very wrong.

listening to: relient k
reading: the coyote road
feeling: exhausted

Just My Luck

2010-01-29T22:51:00.004+08:00

argh, today was totally just my luck, really. ._.

in school, got my phone "confiscated" for like a half hour :x
i have a whole shitload of homework due very soon, and i havent even touched it.
at least i'm doing something interesting for history: WW1, still hating math although it's do-able, got the alto saxophone assigned to me for music class, poetry for english, boring shit for science and geog. well, at least something.

then went for fencing training, big competetion tomorrow, and then my 3rd blade got screwed up then my friend and i went into this back-and-forth conversation about who fucked the blade up first, because he was like "i can fucked up the wire AND the blade!"
Sometimes i wonder. -_-
then had to rush over to the other oultet to buy the blade. O;
annoying, and had to wait a damn long time to get through the stupid peak hour traffic jams. ugh.

have to go now, competetion tomorrow and i dunno why im even on. 0.0

listening to: Wicked
reading: Alice's Adventures in Wonderland/Cosmic Conversations/ I'm Don't Want to be Crazy/ Nightlight
feeling: nervous!

You've got me Popping Champagne

2010-01-24T21:06:00.004+08:00

i haven't been doing anyting productive for my RME project and its due Wednesday.
agh. i have focus issues.
sometimes, i really really miss my old school.
[HI if anyone is reading]
and yeah, the other day, i realised that the stars don't shine under my sky anymore.
and i have livejournal under papierwolf now.
i dont even know why.

reading: nightlight
feeling: bleh
listening to: all time low

The One With The New School

2010-01-11T16:32:00.003+08:00

it's funny, now that i think about it.
i never really bothered to give things a chance, and always went, "oh fuck it. Screw change, I want to stay here." Although that was not even a month ago, two weeks to be exact, i see myself as a spoilt brat who can't let go for her favourite purebred pony when her parents get her a race horse instead.
But really, the race horse isn't so bad after all. It's delightfully fun, actually. (:
For some reason, here i think of something of the year before last, 2008. it was after sabre class, i was with some of my friends there. One of them said after some talk, "It's like an episode of Friends, actually."
For some reason, we all can't help to agree.

The One WIth 100 Truths

2010-01-02T01:40:00.003+08:00

1OO Truths

001. Real name
» Stephanie Caitlyn(:

002. Nickname(s)
» Stef, Caitlyn, Cait, Cat

003. Zodiac sign
» Virgo

004. Male or female
» Female

005. Primary School
» CHIJ TP.

006. Secondary School
» CHIJ TP SEC.

007. High School
» CHIJ TP SEC/ SJII High

008. Hair color
» Deep dark brown-jet black

009. Long or short
» shoulderlength~

010. Loud or Quiet
» LOUD people own!

011. Sweats or Jeans
» jeans!

012. Phone or Camera
» I need both, tahnk you very much.

013. Health freak
» meh.

014. Drink or Smoke?
» IDrink sometimes, i hope smokers stop, please.

015. Do you have a crush on someone?
» right.

016. Eat or Drink
»drink and eat, eat and drink...

017. Piercings
» none whatsoever.

018. Tattoos
» no way.

HAVE YOU EVER?

019. Been in an airplane
» well, duh.

020. Been in a relationship
» Nope

021. Been in a car accident
» Nah.

022. Been in a fist fight
» eh. almost?

FIRSTS:
023. First piercing
»dont haveeee

024. First best friend
» Nicola! } 7+ years!

025. First award
» 2nd place, silver, fencing, 2006

028. First big vacation
» Tokyo!

LASTS:
029. Last person you talked to
» My sister

030. Last person you texted
» Nicolaaa

031. Last person you watched a movie with
» Nicola } dragged me to New Moon

032. Last food you ate
» chips?

033. Last movie you watched
» The Ugly Truth, on the airplane. XD

034. Last song you listened to
» Forever and Almost Always}Kate Voegele

035. Last thing you bought
» Gelato?

036. Last person you hugged
» Nicola, yes, again.

FAVES:
037. Food
» Sushi, lemon meringue fudge, katsu don, ramen, chips [ish], smoked duck. (:

038. Drinks
» Bubble tea, water, [fresh] juice

039. Clothing
» I dont know! Stuff from Threadless or Topshop/Man, I dunno.

040. Flower
» orchids?

042. Colors
» ultramarine, spring green, lavender-violet, grey, most shades of blue

043. Movies
» Aquamarine, Stardust, The Simpsons Movie, The Ugly Truth, the Proposal, and the list goes on.

044. Subjects
» Literature and ART!

Check all that apply,
In 2008, I....

045. [ ] kissed someone IT WAS A DARE!
046. [ ] celebrated Halloween
047. [ x ] had your heart broken
048. [ x ] went over the minutes/texts on your cell phone
049. [ x ] someone questioned your sexual orientation
050. [ ] came out of the closet
051. [ ] gotten pregnant
052. [ ] had an abortion
053. [ x ] done something you've regretted
054. [ x ] broke a promise
055. [ x ] hid a secret
056. [ x ] pretended to be happy
057. [ x ] met someone who changed your life [so many people!]
058. [ x ] pretended to be sick
059. [ x ] left the country
060. [ x] tried something you normally wouldn't try and liked it
061. [ x ] cried over the silliest thing
062. [ ] ran a mile } wish i could
063. [ x] went to the beach with your best friend
064. [ x ] got into an argument with your friends
065. [ x ] hated someone (or, strongly dislike as far as you can without hating)
066. [ x ] stayed single the whole year

CURRENTLY:
067. Eating
» nothign~
068. Drinking
» Water!
069. I'm about to
» sleep, read, draw, blog, code
070. Listening to
» Kelly Clarkson
071. Plans for today
» Collect dust, and pick up my plushie
072. Waiting for
» sleep to wash over me

YOUR FUTURE:
073. Want kids?
» I dont know...

074. Want to get married?
»dunno

075. Careers in mind
» things involving art or writing, which isnt teaching XD

HAVE YOU EVER:
083. Lost glasses/contacts
» Nahh.

084. Snuck out of your house
» nopeee

085. Held a gun/knife for self defense?
» swiss army knife!

086. Killed somebody
» aha...ha... noooo.

087. Broken someone's heart
» Really, and i should know because...?

088. Been arrested
» No.

089. Cried when someone died
»Nope.

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
090. Yourself
» YESH.

091. Miracles
» ish.

092. Love at first sight
» i dont think so, and quote, "then why is love blind?!" }Kimverlyn

093. Heaven
» mm, yesh.

094. Santa Claus
» never really did, but i like the red dude. XD

095. Sex on the first date
» nooope.

096. Kiss on the first date
» maybe.

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:

097. Is there one person you want to be with right now?
»yes

098. Are you seriously happy with where you are in life?
» no-ish

099. Do you believe in God
» Yup.

100. Post as 100 truths and tag 10 people
» maybeee

The One With Reflection

2010-01-01T00:03:00.002+08:00

Those nights are the nights were I can see them ~~act~~ be their true, normal selves. The most hilarious of things happen, and you just can't help laugh along and tell those very amusing stories to your friends.
Sometimes it feels absolutely wonderfult o act like a not-so little kid; you can dance like a fool and play soccer on a rainy night that's illuminated by the glittering stars, right next to an uptown street that's the home to hedge funds and embassies, and no one will say anything.
Just glad to be their real selves, and peel off the layers, and it's nice to sit back and admire the scene where no one is playing a role, or expecting anythign our of anyone, and be glad that they're alive.

The one with memories

2009-12-28T00:23:00.005+08:00

Sometimes, every now and then, i'd look back into my not so little journal,

containing a whole shit load of entries and i'd read them.

I realized that before, just last year really, i was really different, and yet, it was one of the best years of my life. Compared to now, I was so freaking innocent that the thought scares me now. It's just really odd if you think of it, yet, sometimes I miss who I was, and or loathe who I was and my actions, and then I just drown myself in memory until someone tries to interact with me.

Memories now, are just things you hold onto when the going gets shitty and they're just what keeps you, or more like, just me, from completely losing it. I love my memories, I've been experienced so much, pain, joy, sadness, etc, that sometimes I cannot believe I'm only 13. My memories a lot to me, and I cannot bear to lose them. I don't want to forget them, but then, sometimes, we just subconsciously, let the gentle summer breeze take them without any struggle. The thought scares me, I don't want to forget my lovely memories.

But of course, sometimes, I would give nearly anything to turn back time and change those moments. But who knows, maybe if I did change something not so small in a certain time, by words or actions, I won't be at all who I am today.

Maybe it was for the better.

The One That's Not So Long With South Africa, Syndey and Christmas

2009-12-25T16:21:00.005+08:00

well this one's gonna be longer to make up for the real long time i spent overseas!here we go;
[btw, anyone knows why internet lags like hell sometimes? tag if so]first of all

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!
and a
HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!
yes, the exclaimation marks!!!are necessary!!!

{/South Africa}
was quite amusing, the safaris were fun, saw wild animals that were not caged. which is good, since the nearest encounter i had with animals was the zoo.
dung beetles are amusing.
went there with Nicola's family and her awfully odd brothers.
at Victoria Falls, we saw a bunch of crazy people swimming at the edge of the falls. O.o
it was hilarious, and the spray from the falls was drenching us like shit.
Nicola's dad had binoculars, so they managed to view them.
yes, stalkerish, but so very amusing.
Nic said that since they taped them a bit, it should go on youtube.com on failblog {?}
they were like, "we should go ifnd them later and demand $20 for a picture of them swimming."
aha, very retarded, yes!

{/Sydney}
had lots of forced shopping, which i did not enjoy. yes i dont appreciate it.
watched Wicked the musical, pretty good i have to admit.
time passed slowly, just like chinese class, and i was dying to get home. very homesick, since on the day after i came back from S.A i had to fly off to sydney. O;
read Special A 13 and Alice in Wonderland and Through The Looking Glass there,
learnt the basics of Chess that I do not enjoy, and went i ran out of reading material,
i proceeded to my older sister's drama scripts and the such. so yeah.

{/Overall}
i dont want to go to school, new school and so much shit.
Xmas=6 more days till then, so wish me luck. o;

The One Where I Go Watch New Moon With Nicola, and The People In the theatre amuse me and Jacob Is Fluffy

2009-12-04T18:22:00.009+08:00

Watched New Moon with Nicola today. (:
It was pretty good, I have to admit.
[Someone call the institute NOW. O; ]
Aha, anyway, there were moms behind us, and 3 guys in front of us.
I think i accidentally kicked the guy sitting in front of me. :x Whoops.
And the moms behind us, creeped me out. I don't think I need to say anymore.
Creepy, they were laughing at things not very hilarious.
EPIC; The part where Ed brakes for Jacob when Bella tells him to,
a girl in the cinema shouted, "Oh shit!"
Completely epic.
Personally, I thought everyone was joking that Edward *sparkles*. He really does.
So much glitter powder. Tsk tsk.
Jacob Is Fluffy(: Gotta love the fluffiness.
Rant On Twilight, coming soon. I think. Or it should be.
Watch out for it.

The One With The Trip Down Memory Lane

2009-12-04T01:37:00.003+08:00

2 am and I cant sleep. Talking to Shanette on FB. So i looked through all my texts and photos and videos. And I smiled. All the great memories, one from IJ Fiesta, a couple of hilarious vids from IMUN, a few of the sky on significant dates, texts showing my ire, texts showing my friend's amusement at my ire, texts that seem deep from people you never knew could be so deep, and so on and so forth.
But of course, it sucks that this awesome year is ending, and I have to give up some many things to let me rewrite a new chapter of my life.
Giving up is never easy, especially when you're giving up people you ~~loved~~ love, people you care about, people who do the dumbest thigns for you to make you smile, people you'd give your life for.
Same with letting go. Letting go of those you once meant the world to you and left, of those you influenced your life and character so much, those who taught you new things and opened up your once blind eyes. Letting go of them, is like parting with a very precious note of sorts by letting the winds and rainstorms take it, without any notice.
Of course, I'm very sure that, one day, I will meet the people I let go of and rediscover the all things I gave up, and I eargly wait for that day.

Saying Your Names; Richard Siken

2009-12-01T23:19:00.002+08:00

"Saying Your Names"
Richard Siken

Chemical names, bird names, names of fire
and flight and snow, baby names, paint names,
delicate names like bones in the body,
Rumplestiltskin names that are always changing,
names that no one's ever able to figure out.
Names of spells and names of hexes, names
cursed quietly under the breath, or called out
loudly to fill the yard, calling you inside again,
calling you home. Nicknames and pet names
and baroque French monikers, written in
shorthand, written in longhand, scrawled
illegibly in brown ink on the backs of yellowing
photographs, or embossed on envelopes lined
with gold. Names called out across the water,
names I called you behind your back,
sour and delicious, secret and unrepeatable,
the names of flowers that open only once,
shouted from balconies, shouted from rooftops,
or muffled by pillows, or whispered in sleep,
or caught in the throat like a lump of meat.
I try, I do. I try and try. A happy ending?
Sure enough—Hello darling, welcome home.
I'll call you darling, hold you tight. We are
not traitors but the lights go out. It's dark.
Sweetheart, is that you? There are no tears,
no pictures of him squarely. A seaside framed
in glass, and boats, those little boats with
sails aflutter, shining lights upon the water,
lights that splinter when they hit the pier.
His voice on tape, his name on the envelope,
the soft sound of a body falling off a bridge
behind you, the body hardly even makes
a sound. The waters of the dead, a clear road,
every lover in the form of stars, the road
blocked. All night I stretched my arms across
him, rivers of blood, the dark woods, singing
with all my skin and bone Please keep him safe.
Let him lay his head on my chest and we will be
like sailors, swimming in the sound of it, dashed
to pieces. Makes a cathedral, him pressing against
me, his lips at my neck, and yes, I do believe
his mouth his heaven, his kisses falling over me
like stars. Names of heat and names of light,
names of collision in the dark, on the side of the
bus, in the bark of the tree, in ballpoint pen
on jeans and hands and the backs of matchbooks
that then get lost. Names like pain cries, names
like tombstones, names forgotten and reinvented,
names forbidden or overused. Your name like
a song I sing to myself, your name like a box
where I keep my love, your name like a nest
in the tree of love, your name like a boat in the
sea of love—O now we're in the sea of love!
Your name like detergent in the washing machine.
Your name like two X's like punched-in eyes,
like a drunk cartoon passed out in the gutter,
your name with two X's to mark the spots,
to hold the place, to keep the treasure from
becoming ever lost. I'm saying your name
in the grocery store, I'm saying your name on
the bridge at dawn. Your name like an animal
covered with frost, your name like a music that's
been transposed, a suit of fur, a coat of mud,
a kick in the pants, a lungful of glass, the sails
in wind and the slap of waves on the hull
of a boat that's sinking to the sound of mermaids
singing songs of love, and the tug of a simple
profound sadness when it sounds so far away.
Here is a map with your name for a capital,
here is an arrow to prove a point: we laugh
and it pits the world against us, we laugh,
and we've got nothing left to lose, and our hearts
turn red, and the river rises like a barn on fire.
I came to tell you, we'll swim in the water, we'll
swim like something sparkling underneath
the waves. Our bodies shivering, and the sound
of our breathing, and the shore so far away.
I'll use my body like a ladder, climbing
to the thing behind it, saying farewell to flesh,
farewell to everything caught underfoot
and flattened. Names of poisons, names of
handguns, names of places we've been
together, names of people we'd be together.
Names of endurance, names of devotion,
street names and place names and all the names
of our dark heaven crackling in their pan.
It's a bed of straw, darling. It sure as shit is.
If there was one thing I could save from the fire,
he said, the broken arms of the sycamore,
the eucalyptus still trying to climb out of the yard—
your breath on my neck like a music that holds
my hands down, kisses as they burn their way
along my spine—or rain, our bodies wet,
clothes clinging arm to elbow, clothes clinging
nipple to groin—I'll be right here. I'm waiting.
Say hallelujah, say goodnight, say it over
the canned music and your feet won't stumble,
his face getting larger, the rest blurring
on every side. And angels, about twelve angels,
angels knocking on your head right now, hello,
hello, a flash in the sky, would you like to
meet him there, in Heaven? Imagine a room,
a sudden glow. Here is my hand, my heart,
my throat, my wrist. Here are the illuminated
cities at the center of me, and here is the center
of me, which is a lake, which is a well that we
can drink from, but I can't go through with it.
I just don't want to die anymore.

Come With Me Tonight; We Can Make The Night Last Forever

2009-12-01T00:56:00.005+08:00

today was hilariously tiring.
played a game we usually play for training,
if i explained to you, you should know about the ever lovely
"Sabre Game"
and some of them, I swear, are like kiddies diagnosed with ADHD
and stole candy that resulted in their sugar rush.
well, tired now, and it's like 1 am. i should go to bed.
nights.

listening to; Play On//Carrie Underwood & The Climb//Miley Cyrus
reading; nothing
feeling; tired

Here's How It Goes, Boy Meets Girl, Girl Leave Boy

2009-11-22T18:41:00.006+08:00

so tired and annoyed.
pissed that the fact that my tution homework is a "personal statement"
and i have issues writing it.
dammit.
just going to screw it.
anyway, on friday, i went out with Steph Ang
to have lunch at some wonderfully odd jap place
and watch 2012, which was so very depressing.
like the facebook group, "shut up, the world isnt going to end in 2012"
quote Nickie, "if the Mayans can predict the end of the world, why couldn't they predict tehir own downfall?"
details another day.

listening to; play on; carrie underwood
reading; you are here
feeling; exhausted and irked

It's like a million little stars spelling out your name

2009-11-20T12:08:00.005+08:00

gonna make this quick~
going out with Steph Ang soon. (:
training last night was really fun, and it's like i was on a sugar high.
I told Clara the high was due to the water.
She was like, "drink more water."
aha.
Then Celine said to Rania, for she was holding Rania's iPhone hostage;
"Give it to me or I won't give it back to you."
Or something to that effect. (:
It was funnnnny.
Then we tried to guess Rania's password-code,
thinking it was her birthday.
But i dont think it is. :p
Aha, anyway, some of the fencers are off to Guangzhou, China for a fencing trip,
but I'm not.
So yeah, it'll be really quiet. O.o

The One Where I [Politely] Ask You To Leave If You Are A Fan Of The Dude That Everyone Seems To Miss; MJ

2009-11-18T17:55:00.004+08:00

Okay, first of all, please read my title. and if you would still like to, please be prepared to see a lot of bad words that may be decorated with pretty little st*rs. thank you~

still here, i see?

if youre still here by now that means you would like to hear my rant on one of the world's
"greatest" people, the "king of pop", --- Michael Jackson.

Why does it seem [note i say "seem"] that everyone makes such a effing big fuss over his frggin' death?! he's dead and gone, just let him rest in "peace". So many people cried and went a bit bonkers when they heard he kicked the bucket. He's f**king dead, like, get over it! >:(

So many imporatant people passed on, and i dont think that many caused such a huge, global warming sized fuss. people only remember him for the "good things" he did, despite the speculation of him being druggie-like before his death.

And no one seems to remember that he was accused of sexually abusing two 13 year-olds.

If a celeb that was involved in a sex abuse case/scandal like that, were to die, im sure more people will remember that than the few people [as far as i know] who remembered the sexual abuse cases the [second, since like Elvis Presley practically, and still, owns him] "king of pop". Once again, please note the inverted commas. As far as anyone really knows, Elvis wasnt involved in any sexual abuse cases.

Movies of MJ were made and thrown all across the world for so many nations to see, so everyone seems to remember his death and mourn him. Yeah right. Im not going to.

Actually right now, if i could, I'll trade my birthday. ANYONE?!

Cos I share the same birthday as some [im]famous singer dude who was involved in such cases that are, if you think about it enough, degratory.

Some people who share the smae birthday as me, and I bet they arent really going to get such a great birthday bash next year since everyone will be like, "365 days ago, the king of pop went to meet his maker" etc.

29th August people!
-John Locke, English philosopher
-Jean Ingres, French painter
-Marmaduke Hussey, BBC Chairman
-Karen Hesse, Children's Writer
-Michael P. Kube-McDowell, science-fiction novelist
-Davud Desrosiers, bassist and backing vocalist of Simple Plan
-Princess Charlotte Christine of Brunswick-Lüneburg, Grand Duchess of Russia
-Henry Bergh, founder of American SPCA
-Lanny Barbie, Canidian porn star
-Chris Daughtery, winner of Survivor, not American Idol finalist
and the list goes on. No i dont watch porn, I read wikipedia.

Anyway, so there we go. I'm not really in the mood to rant more about MJ, so ye-ah.
Part One, I guess.

okay, im sorry, i didnt swear in this post.

listening to; nothing related to the dude i just ranted about.
reading; see above

The One With No Internet Connection at 3AM

2009-11-16T15:17:00.008+08:00

while im waiting for my icons to load on photobucket, i shall blog!
i've been playing with my bamboo tablet lately and i'm getting used to it! (:
i wanted to blog at 3 am this morning but for some retarded reason,
there was no internet connection. ):
so yeah. ended up sleeping like 40 songs later and woke up at 10am.
then my cousin came over and we watched 'are you smarter than a 5th grader?'
and some of the questions were really simple.
aha.
now, if we have 'are you smarter than a p5?', everyone would go insane.
talked to Clara just now, and she did the dumbest thing ever that i shall not post. ^^
and it was only some time ago that i realised her url was a song. :X

listening to: songs from 'play on'//carrie underwood
[re]reading: the coyote road
feeling: bored and such.

( I'll move to Paris, shoot some heroin and fuck with the stars. you man the island and the cocaine and the elegant cars. )

The One With the Tennis Ball and the Bad News

2009-11-13T18:22:00.005+08:00

yestreday before training, soemthing really retarded happened.

Celine and Cailyn and Sarah were playing monkey with a tennis ball and flourescent orange cones
and Sarah threw it too high, it hit the air vent and stayed up there on the lighting square-thing.

So one of the coaches had to get it by using a ladder.

And after throwing the original tennis ball down, she discovered ANOTHER tennis ball that was greyish in its neon yellowness.
eew. no one knows how long it was there and when/how the hell it managed to get up there. -.-
oh and on a really spastic note, im allergic to bread.
gtg for dinner now. byee

reading; american gods//neil gaiman
listening to; who i am hates whove ive been//relient k
feeling; i want to paint

The One With Late Nights of Movies and Ice Cream

2009-11-10T12:11:00.006+08:00

firstly, this is going to be a fairly long post,
just to let you know. (:

DAY ONE; SUNDAY
well, on sunday i stayed over at Nicola's house and had lots of fun.
its been long since we've crapped to each other about the fun in our lives,
and im so glad we did.
watched 'i love you beth cooper' and part of the proposal.
i want to watch the whole thingggg! so damn funny,
and damn the stupid site since it couldnt freaking buffer quick enough. =.=
anyway, we were eating famous amous cookies and i met her friend sam.
sam is cool. she owns like four different types of gatorade in her room.
[hi sam, if youre here!]
i slept at like 6am, and i looked out the window to see only the dark of night, and
i asked where the sun was.
nicola replied that the sun only rose at 6.30, or something to that effect.
oh well, i went to sleep and woke up at noon. 8D

DAY TWO; MONDAY

went out for ice cream after training ended and we left the guys swearing in somelanguageorwhatever for no proper reason.
udders has good ice cream. (:
went with steph ang and jeeyen.
jeeyen had her chinese 'o's today. :O
hope she did well! *crosses fingers*
her chinese is like friggin good, as far as i knoww.
monday night everyone was speaking cheng yu [chinese proverbs D8]
to her and when she didnt know one,
she ran off to ask our coach, whos from china.
so, yeah, haha.

listening to; fallin for you//colbie calliat, never again//kelly clarkson
reading; american gods//neil gaiman
feeling; pretty good and nocturnal

The One Where My Mother Screams At Me

2009-11-07T13:23:00.005+08:00

hullo~
well im actually kinda bored.. saturday afternoon and im done playing the wii with my younger sister.
i wanted to go watch nat trials with my friend but damn lazy and dunno if shes coming or not.
sigh.
but i feel kinda bad for not going. my other friend who's fencing then is there and i told her that i may go.
i managed to not be addicted to subeta and im so bored.
agh.
on facebook now, and writing out little random thoughts with my word document.
oh
yesterday, i woke up at 1pm and my mom started screaming at me. -.-
saddening, and im off to search my rfridge for jelly now.

The One Where There Is A Clan Outing

2009-11-05T14:43:00.005+08:00

wheeee!~
went out with the clan, ot most of them at least, yesterday.
the big is for Clarissa. ^^
had lots of fun, except Lyani wasnt there. ):
ate at Swensens where the manager attempted being funny and after he left,
Val announced that he wasnt.
Ally and I shared my malt milk shake and
Clarissa's aglio olio tasted funny.
Had macaroons from Bakerzin, cheaper than usual!
Had black sesame [odd in a nice way, but a bit too strong] and
yuzu and sakura, which were awesome.
At GV, we watched Imagine That, super hilarious. (:
When we all went into the theatre, we thought it was the wrong one because
there were only older people there,
and Valeria and I were like,
"I hope we accidentally stepped into [the theatre showing] Jennifer's Body!"
No such luck, sadly.
But Jennifer's Body woudlve been cool.
My mom thought it wasnt NC 16, and was like,
"oh you all can go watch Jennifer's Body!"
Once i was with my dad's friend's kids and we were supposed to watch
some really shitty movie [no i dont remember it, i erased it from my memory]
and we accidentally walked into some rated show.
It wouldve been cool to stay there, but my friend's older brother dragged us out.

listening to; Hey Monday
Reading; Stardust
Feeling; Slightly bored and tired, but otherwise fine

Home Sweet Home; Only If I Knew Where that was

2009-11-04T01:29:00.002+08:00

You Know I’m A Dreamer
But My Heart’s Of Gold
I Had To Run Away High
So I Wouldn’t Come Home Low
Just When Things Went Right
It Doesn’t Mean They Were Always Wrong
Just Take This Song
And You’ll Never Feel
Left All Alone

Take Me To Your Heart
Feel Me In Your Bones
Just One More Night
And I’m Comin’ Off This
Long & Winding Road

I’m On My Way
I’m On My Way
Home Sweet Home
Tonight, Tonight
I’m On My Way
I’m On My Way
Home Sweet Home

You know that i've seen
so many romantic dreams
Up In Lights, Fallin’ Off
The Silver Screen

My Hearts Like An Open Book
For The Whole World To Read
Sometimes Nothing
Keeps Me Together
At The Seams

I’m On My Way
I’m On My Way
Home Sweet Home
Tonight, Tonight
I’m On My Way
Just Set Me Free
Home Sweet Home

Uhmmm, I’m On My Way,
I’m On My Way
Home Sweet Home

Yeah…, I’m On My Way
Just Set Me Free
Home Sweet Home.

Nothing Will be the same ever again

2009-10-31T16:18:00.004+08:00

Walking past you through the hall
Stopping by to give you a call
We've been through it all
Talking to you saying our goodbyes
Can't believe that we are leaving
This is the end for us all

Yeah Yeah Ohh

And how do we say our goodbyes
Do we laugh or cry
And why does this have to be so hard
Yeah yeah ohh
And how do we say our goodbyes
Do we laugh or cry
And do i just say goodbye
Should i laugh or cry

Everything has just disappered into air
I bearly got to say goodbye
It's friends forever that's what we used to say
Now everything is flying away

And how do we say our goodbyes
Do we laugh or cry
And why does this have to be so hard
Yeahhhh (why does it have to be)
And how do we say our goodbyes
Do we laugh or cry
And do i just say goodbye
Oh ooh oh ohhh

I just wish that everything was the same (the same)
Now all the memories floating away

Yeahhhh ohhh..

And how do we say our goodbyes
Do we laugh or cry
And why does this have to be so hard (so hard)
And how do we say our goodbyes
Do we laugh or cry
And do i just say goodbye
Should i laugh or cry

You draw it out like a highway With every word you'd say

2009-10-28T22:05:00.003+08:00

wednesday; the 56th cross country race of our school.
Claire Cheng is awesome, fastest runner in the level! (:'
congrats, chairperson.
anyway, it was fun today/
but i must also say that Lyn is really great,
she gave it her all although she fell and hurt herself.
Still, she's terrific.
tata for now.~

This is just our Temporary Home

2009-10-27T17:20:00.010+08:00

Had our sec one retreat today. Was so awesome, and made me think
a whole load more about our relationships with practically everyone;
friends, family and so on.
Very touching, and now, so i view to world differently.
I shall now live everyday to its fullest because...
each day could be a last for anyone.
I think it was really cool, Father Simon shared stories with us, one about an IJ girl whose friend was brutally raped and murdered...So depressing to know this is what people do now.
[Praying for her!]
The girl then went on, with the help of the church, to work for the UN and the BBC London. So very awesome.
A lot of the stories were very inspirational, and makes me reflect how i have lamented so much about my life when others experienced so much worse.
Now, I shall attempt a be a better person, living with the IJ spirit in me.
Because, no offence, IJ, from what i know, is different in many awesomely unique ways from other schools.
And i dont want to leave.
i found this new Carrie Underwood song.
Apologies for this uber long post!
Just had the need to share it. (:

Little boy, six years old
A little too used to being alone
Another new mom and dad, another school
Another house that'll never be home

When people ask him how he likes this place
He looks up and says with a smile upon his face

This is my temporary home
It's not where I belong
Windows and rooms that I'm passing through
This is just a stop on the way to where I'm going
I'm not afraid because I know
This is my temporary home

Mmmmm

A young mom on her own
She needs a little help, got no where to go
She's looking for a job, looking for a way out
'Cause a half-way house will never be a home

At night she whispers to her baby girl
Someday we'll find our place here in this world

This is our temporary home
It's not where we belong
Windows and rooms that we're passing through
This is just a stop on the way to where we're going
I'm not afraid because I know
This is our temporary home

Old man, hospital bed
The room is filled with people he loves
And he whispers, "don't cry for me,
I'll see you all someday"

He looks up and says,
"I can see God's face"

This is my temporary home
It's not where I belong
Windows and rooms that I'm passing through
This was just a stop on the way to where I'm going
I'm not afraid because I know
This was my temporary home

Go ahead and let the light shine through

2009-10-25T19:35:00.004+08:00

It's so easy to get lost inside
A problem that seems so big at the time
It's like a river that's so wide
It swallows you whole

While you're sitting around thinking 'bout what you can't change
And worrying about all the wrong things
Time's flying by, moving so fast
You better make it count 'cause you can't get it back

Sometimes that mountain you've been climbing
Is just a grain of sand
And what you've been out there searching for forever
Is in your hands

Oh, and when you figure out
Love is all that matters after all
It sure makes everything else
Seem so small!

Rant on Apple 2

2009-10-24T21:04:00.005+08:00

another rant on apple! please bear with meh again...=__=
today, i tried to access the US music store with the help of awesome
Nicola Anne and Clarissa
but i couldnt. i had everything needed; US codes and all that shit,
but my dad's credit card isnt US, which completely killed everyhting. >:(
so agh. so incredibly irksome!
after dealing with it for like an hour, i gave up. O.O
i am not glad about this. grr.
oh well. i want the storeee!

Cause wild ponies are born to run

2009-10-24T12:45:00.004+08:00

heyos, i was tired of blogging for a little while, but ok, im back.
it feels good to be free like a horses running wild in a blooming field under the sunny skies.
exams are over and i did pretty badly. ):
at least i passed everything, but i think i flunked home econs.
pfft.
who needs home econs?
im sure i dont.

I'm on a greyhound bound for nowhere

2009-10-20T22:09:00.009+08:00

and today, i am free!
im wont talk about math since that will throw me into a depression mode,
that involves me painting with dark dark colors.
anyway, last final today.
and i finally have my liberty.
i can rot my brain on things like anime and manga and maybe gossip girl once i figure out some of the sites.
[i cant find a proper site to watch it online, help please!]
so yeah. that's it, i'm free to do whatever i want.
i want a 90210 marathon.
or season 2.
season 2 is preferred.
ah hell, im crapping.
oh i hope kimverlyn finds her camera,
and i want to pass math!
oh i bullshitted through home ec,
since its so bloody eff-tarded and how they encourage in
it all girls' schools is friggin sexist.
[eg how we will have to knwo this next time when
we grow up. does that mean males dont need to know
all this shit?!]
ugh. ok anyway, i wanted to watch Carrie Underwood live at ION,
some time ago but tickets werent available to the public.
oh well thats whats youtube.com is for. (:

listening to; Miranda Lambert
reading; Wintergirls//Laurie Halse Anderson
note; just speak your mind cos others cant

I gave my heart, Without even blinking

2009-10-14T19:06:00.006+08:00

a couple of exams down, (english, chinese, science, art and history,)
and few more to go!
we can do this!
gosh i feel like some teacher giving her students a friggin prep talk. XD

Rant on Apple.

2009-10-10T22:00:00.001+08:00

here is a rant on Apple products,
they annoy me.
why cant they just launch a music itunes shop for singapore
and other places?
they dont do this, do you know how hard it is for us to get the songs we want?
AGH.
and yet they discourage us fomr illegal downloading.
OH WELL.
and today my effing iTunes just crashed.
AND REFUES TO OPEN/.
im pissed. and i used it just now!
HELP~

I like to put my hair up in a ponytail, Climb up in a pickup and just raise some hell

2009-10-09T16:56:00.003+08:00

im bored and i feel like reading a parody of twilight or something.
im reading shug and speak.
oh well.
today the puffy clouds of the sky were light sky blue and white.
they reminded me of someone not being able to decide whether to add blue coloring
into the snow white clouds.
hope that made sense.
im pissed at the english exam, i couldnt finish my compo as i wanted to!agh.
aha.

reading; shug//somehting han
listening to; desperado//carrie underwood
feeling; blah and slackish.

no! no! its the beginning of the end!

2009-10-07T18:12:00.004+08:00

agh! finals are in 2 DAYS. ohmygoshhhhhhh.
im freaking out. i realised i havent studied lit!
oh no. i can go vulgar on this post, but gosh, im lazy.
ciao for now.

feeling; freaked out
listening to; carrie underwood & vanessa carlton
reading; all my notes and tbs.

And she's so pretty and she's so short, Maybe I'm more clever than a girl like her

2009-10-03T16:37:00.004+08:00

looking away into the sunset, and forces a smile,
the kind of forced smiles that movie stars plaster
on their faces when theyve been cornered by the media.
she grins and tosses her hair, laughing with those around her.
people think, admiring her raven hair and bright hazel eyes,
she's so pretty she must be so perfect,
how wrong they are and she hides the deep sorrow that
she nearly showed.

sorry if that didnt make sense.
the fact that finals are soon doesnt make sense.

Masks, illusions and the midnight dances at late night parties

2009-10-02T20:39:00.003+08:00

do you realise that so many people merely plaster grins and smiles
on their faces and hide the deep sorrow in their bright eyes,
covering up the fact that the pain they experienced from a stab
wound done by an ice dagger in their gut?

Masks people don when with others; laughing and
enjoying themselves as if the next day
would never come, only rip off that
costume and clear the make-up
in their lone presence as they,
in safe, secret havens start
reflecting on how their
world is just starting
to break into an
uncountable
amount
of once-clear, now-(tear)stained pointed edged glass shards.

Illusions are all thats in my view from where i stand in
this world where so many claimed that theyre lives
are so horribly effed up by broken hearts, grades,
backstabbing bitches and bastards who simply
float into lives to destroy whatever joy
they can get their hands on. And it
seems that so many I know share
this awful, long, twisted thread
of horror-filled fate.

i feel so effing naive; i only found that out not long ago.
and really, really dumb.

from nicole quah's blog, on a much more light hearted note,
"My name is ash ketchum and im going to be the world's pokemon master!
Pikachu is going to my first pokemon and i am excited.
I am gay by the way.
I fell in love with brock while he was chasing a girl.
I hate misty because im not straight."
lol.

The pretty eyed boys girls lie to trust

2009-10-01T19:45:00.009+08:00

ive been having an obsession with vanessa carlton songs lately.
today we had a science mock test that i screwed.
chem, which i studied, did not come out much.
stuff i studied for midyears and did not come out then
came out today.
Lyn thought that STIs were sexually transmitted intercourses!
(fyi, its sexually transmitted infections, lol)
i cussed my head off after that and i fell an hurt my ankle.
so i couldnt go for fencing. ):
oh well.
steph ang was supposed to come over,
but she got my address wrong.
so sad! i wanted her over so we could crap!
oh well. ciao!~

to bear the weight and push into the sky; it's easier to lie

2009-09-30T20:14:00.004+08:00

quote from Brightblinds@LJ. (:
awesome community.
anyway, tomorrow's my mock science and lit test.
i should get off but my subeta pets need attention. O.-
anyway, im bored. ive been writine little bits of prose and poems lately
to prevent me from screaming my head off in my backyard.
tatas.
some other time maybe.

storybook endings, fairy tales coming true

2009-09-26T20:03:00.003+08:00

hello. so bored again.
im rotting my brain on a project runway marathon now.
so bored. i have a writers block now. AGH.
oh well. thats what project runway is for.

listening to; the voices of p.r
weather; its dark so i cant tell.
reading; speak--laurie helse anderson

if I could only say, "I'm holding every breath for you"

2009-09-25T17:34:00.007+08:00

thats right.
i got the sniffles yesterday. ):
so i couldnt run the race for p.e today,
we had combined p.e class with 1.1 today (:
both of us were awesome.
and sabrina from 1/1 sprained her ankle (get better soon!)
so i hung out with her
for a while and stole paper from her. X)
she ran with a couple of others from both classes,
but mostly her class though,
'holding her sketchbook up high,
with the big words,
GO! for fun (:
then we congratulated each other like,
3 cheers for (other class!) x3 and all.
so we did that with 1.1 and they did it with us, 1.5
that was fun. :D
although we had science afterwards and it so sucked. D;

listening to; Taylor Swift
(re)reading; the 5 jerks you meet on earth//ray zemmond
weather; sunny sunset, kinda warm-ish
quote; "release your inner llama!" -some class mate to Clarissa

Apple Lime Grape Jelly!

2009-09-23T18:13:00.003+08:00

mugging for finals is no fun at all.
O.o so suckish.
today, Clarissa told me about Grapples!
grapes+apples, actually. they sound cool (:
haha. okay i'm supposed to be doing a lit essay for my el tuition class.
*sighs*

Ode to Randomness

2009-09-20T23:15:00.008+08:00

ive been bored lately although i've been mugging for finals.
so this shall be my Ode to Randomness!
oh and i like this too, my friend's facebook status;

Thinks being Emo , regular , cool , cute is retarded .... Be random it's better than just fitting in ...

really it makes so much sense!
i swear that is one of the rare times where he actually makes sense!(:
oh well. reminds me of a deviantart poem called Goth VS Prep
go check it out.

listening to; Cowboy Casanova; Carrie Underwood/ She's got a boyfriend now; Boys Like Girls
feeling; relatively contented
quote; please refer to the big words in bold above (:

the demanded dedication and grammar correctors!

2009-09-17T23:04:00.004+08:00

live life
make mistakes
bake cupcakes ♥
hmm, i seem to like this phrase.

so random, i know, this is on the facebook
profile of one of my awesome friends.
anyway, this one's for Steph Ang, my awesome fencing pal! (:
crazy girl, but fun to be with, really,
no matter how many times id like to throttle her for
reasons i do not wish to be known via this post.
YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN STEPH ;D
haha, okay, that was kinda lame.
on a random note, i found out that my sec 3 friend
from RGS Sec, Cailyn, is a grammar corrector like me!

HAHA. SEE IM NOT THE ONLY ONE!

Let us screw finals

2009-09-16T18:44:00.005+08:00

hello there.
i havent been blogging much. ):
ive only been online to type out frikin essays,
like the three i had to do on frikin espionage.
like i mean its cool but we dont really have to know this,
do we?
i mean its not like we're gonna end up working for the
CIA/FBI/M16/ that russian intelligence agency whose name i forgot
i swear we have so much homework and an exceptional
crap load for GAP, general art programme. agh.
i regret getting my purple iPod so recently.
shoulve waited till whenever for the 5th Gen one!
agh! camera and speakers and cooler colors. D;
anyway, im impatiently waiting for the next few chapters
of Shugo Chara! and Fairy Tail to come out.
so im reading Kitchen Princess now.
damn finals. but i dont wanna screw them.
on an unrelated, random note, i want donuts. (:

the truth about our "holidays"...

2009-09-09T18:21:00.003+08:00

really, they call it "holidays"
but no!
actually, here we have classes during the hols!
the horror!
really, its horrible. this morning, i forced myself up
since i had to attend GEOG.
yesterday was my chinese oral exam =.=
oh well.
i cant do anything about the kiasu-ness of singapore.
i only have two more officail days of pure holiday.
heck with it. im gonna enjoy myself. (:

a completely crapped up day.

2009-09-05T21:47:00.002+08:00

as the title says,
but i dont feel like talking about that.
hmm i dunno why i even typed that out.
haha, oh well then,
can anyone help me with the post title part,
cos i want to change the color and font,
but i cant seem to find out where.
thanks. (:

I IS BACK.

2009-08-31T16:41:00.006+08:00

happy birthday to me (:
that sounded egoistic.
thanks to Lyani and Veilla and Clarissa,
i had an awesome time on Saturday (;
we wandered around orchard road aimlessly,
ion and taka and wheelock and wherever else.
anyway, sorry havent been blogging lately,
ive been having absolutely no inspriation,
which sucks, like writers block.
i think i need a new skin.
oh and thanks to Karrie/Yin Hui for my
very different birthday gift. ^^
and because of Clarissa,
im kinda hooked onto the llama song,
it runs through my head like several times a day (:
and i screwed my home ec practical, oh well,
im off to write stuff or something (:

LLAMA LLAM DUCK!

im gonna be a kid and...

2009-08-26T20:25:00.005+08:00

talk about the last unicorn (:
as in the show,
like omg, i finished the book some time ago
and i remembered it was so familiar cos i watched the show
when i saw like 4 or something.
but the ending was quite crappy,
i think the unicorn either ended up remaining human
or had to part with her human lover to become unicorn again or soemthing.
if anyone knows then tag please. (:
but the ending is so sad!
now im out to find the music from it. :3

What happens when i dont get enough sleep

2009-08-25T22:18:00.003+08:00

okay, so this morning when i reached school, i did math and art,
then i fell asleep till pledge taking . =.=
then i realised everyone was standing up so i jumped up and yanked
my earphone out. lol.
how retarded luh.
but haha, that was stupid.
oh and me has found all I's missing things. YAY\.

Randon Rant

2009-08-23T19:02:00.005+08:00

you do suck out loud!
damn you.
writers should agree with me.
lucky if you never had one. (jealous)

Rainstorms and Sprints

2009-08-21T15:46:00.008+08:00

okay, today was kinda insane.
i think i hurt my right ankle during p.e then i had to have ice on it for sometime. =.=
then when we ended school, it was even more insane.
the torrential downpour drenched me o.o
i walked out with clarissa and stupidly gave my umbrella to her.
<> GROWL.
anyway, then i met yin hui and jia hui and we camwhored for no reason
except we were all freakishly wet.
oh well.
then i met kimverlyn and val and andrea. then they all left.
kim was awesome and gave me her fries. (:
during free period before that ms. ong changed our seats.
kim's and venessa's in fron of me,
and valeria to my left! yay. :3
so yeah. that was pretty much my friday. at least here comes the weekend!

On a random note..

2009-08-19T11:42:00.005+08:00

on a random note, just to try the codes out,
i want a new phone.
one with aflip out keypad and touch screen,
wiith internet access and a really awesome camera and lots of memory space. (:

Jinxed!

2009-08-18T13:34:00.005+08:00

listening to: Ordinary Day//Vanessa Carlton
Reading: Freshman// the guy who wrote the Barry Trotter parodies
Quote: "Present and Goating!" //Delegate of Uganda, SC, iMUN 09.
(i went through my notes again (: )

it's been like kinda surreal-ish.
on monday, i forgot to bring my drama exam script, my calculator and my math notes.
then for fencing, i seemed to have misplaced my 2 wires and my glove. =.=
it really sucked so i had to borrow a wire from my friend and the glove form the studio.
its like ive been j!nxed.
agh. sigh.
then we ended class by crapping about subjects that i shall not mention on this here public blog.
at least today's better.
im not in school, though, i feel crappy and pukey.
i managed to talk to linee! (:
havent heard from her in a while.
it made things feel much better.
im tired. and off to eat lunch.

Gala/National Day 2009

2009-08-10T18:08:00.003+08:00

been told to update for a while, sorry, just had absolutely no inspiration.,
so here comes a long-ish post =.=
anyway, yesterday was insane.
it was the fencing club'c annual competetion; Gala 2009.
i didn't win anything, sadly, by direct elimination, i was lagging like crap.
during our break, one of the seniors treated the other (seniors and those who located them)
to mc's. it was quite fun, and that was were the quote on my profile page came from.
then a bunch of friends and i swapped iPods.
my friend gave in to another and swapped her green nano for his iPhone (she wanted tap tap), then i swapped my purple for his green. confusing since im not using names?
sorry about that.:X
then dinner was very odd.
my "friend" sprayed guy's deo (the one with the iphone; his deo) on my lovely iPod. very what the hell moment.
let me explain. during the break, both of them sprayed deo near the air vent onstage.
thank god no one was there.
really.
anyway, back to dinner, i met up with my junior's sister, Em, and we crapped and crapped.
then during the awards ceremony, we were reminded by the younger fencers that we were supposed to say the pledge at 8.22 pm.
we did and it was led by a sabrist.
after that, the "friend", lets call him a, and the other, b (not the one with the iPhone),
started spraying me with 2 different guys' deo.
cool and eeew.
then i took own my water-filled evian spray bottle, pretended it was my own deo, and ran after them. for a long while as people thought we were insane.
well that's what we are.
there's more to say, but i shan't say it here. not now. i shall do it another time, and pour my heart into it like "ink onto paper" (got that form somewhere, i dont know.)

what do you do with a b.a in english?

2009-07-27T16:11:00.008+08:00

okay, clarissa told me i havent updated in like how long.
okay, this ones for clarissa although she probably never heard avenue q. =)
so heres another post!
im listening to Avenue Q now, since
like im underaged to go watch the real thing,
i have the soundtrack in my laptop cos
my sis put it in. ^^
its damn funny!
well, today, 10 people didnt come in the morning then
3 girls went home, then another 11 went home,
including me. =)
in case we have symptoms of h1n1 or something.
then my class may be quarantined. =)
although i wasnt really sick.
partially cos of nickie and lynn. (not foo chuan though, she's from fencing.)
i guess.
i like 'a fine fine line' and 'schadenfrende' and
'it sucks to be me' and 'everyones a little bit racist'
and 'if you were gay' and 'a fine fine line reprise' and 'for now'
theyre all pretty awesome, and i think some of em actually makes sense. XD
haha. you listen for yourself on youtube and judge for yerself.
im crapping again, now.
ohaky, should be going now before i rot all your brains. =)

Everything in life is only for now.
-Avenue Q, For Now.

Guess What?

2009-07-23T18:52:00.001+08:00

hello,
long time no post,
i was off skin-hunting again!
anyway, i found a temorary one..
may get Kimverlyn to help me with one.
cos i cant seem to edit everything right [in another skin]
so yeah. juts another temporary one---hence the title. :)

{STEF!}

insane summary

2009-07-15T18:57:00.003+08:00

for today;

i am not a cold-blooded vamp, for i do not sparkle and me is a werewolf. Jacob from the new moon trailer in wolf form is fluffy. e+c does not =C. i feel sick. i hate math. is freaking over the projects that are due soon. and the 3 dumb ass tests tomorrow. wants to absent myself and needs a new blog skin.
that is all.

Dear Me

2009-07-07T16:53:00.003+08:00

(i do not own this awesome poem; it is
by a talented deviant artist, xxxkurairozexxx,
and i have gotten her permission to post this here,
and the original link to the piece is;
http://xxxkurairozexxx.deviantart.com/art/dear-me-120262889 )

Dear me,

Stop being such a bad person.
You plot and plan,
alienating everyone along the way,
and it’s all your own god damn fault.

You think you can hide behind a pretty face,
and fantastical daydreams,
And blame all your problems on something and someone else.
Well you know what?
It’s time that you;

Stop trying to be the centre of attention.
Stop spilling all your secrets.
Stop manipulating everyone around you.
Stop being you!

It’s time to fucking grow up,
You silly little girl.

111th posttt!

2009-07-05T15:19:00.003+08:00

"I screwed up 33% of my teenage life"

[ ] Gotten detention.
[ ] Gotten your phone taken away in class
[ ] Gotten suspended.
[ ] Gotten caught chewing gum.
[ ] Gotten caught cheating on a test.
Total: 0

[ ] Arrived late to class more than 5 times.
[x] Didn’t do homework over 5 times
[ ]Turned at least 3 projects in late
[x] Missed school cause you felt like it.
[ ] Laughed so loud you got kicked out of class.

Total : 2

[ ] Got your mom / dad etc. to get you out of school.
[x] Texted people during class.
[x] Passed notes.
[ ] Threw stuff across the room.
[x] Laughed at the teacher.

Total : 5

[ ] Pulled down the fire alarm.
[x] Went on myspace , facebook , xanga , etc. on the computer at school.
[x] Took pictures during school hours.
[x] Called someone during school hours.
[ ] Listened to an iPod , CD , etc. during class.

Total : 8

[ ] Threw something at the teacher.
[x] Went outside the classroom without permission.
[ ] Broke the dress code.
[x] Failed a class.
[x] Ate food during class.

Total : 12

[ ] Gotten a call from school.
[ ] Couldn’t go on a field trip cause you behaved badly.
[x] Didn’t take your stuff to school.
[ ] Gotten a detention and didn't go.
[ ] Stuck up your middle finger at a teacher when they were not looking.
[x] Cursed during class loud enough so the teacher could hear

Total : 14

[ ] Faked your parents signature
[x] Slept in class.
[ ] Cursed at a teacher to their face.
[x] Copied homework

Total:16

All total: 16

Multiply by 3 = 48
Then repost this as "I screwed up 48% of my teenage life"

now isnt that wonderful? i am not suprised!

Happy Independence day/ Kellie pIkcler is awesomeee!

2009-07-04T17:20:00.004+08:00

reading: Dont judge a gir by her cover ; Ally Carter

listening to: Besy Days of Your Life; Kellie Pickler

Quote:Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet!
They're about to announce the lottery numbers. - Homer Simpson

as said, happy independence day, although i dont celebrate it
cos im not american.
facebook spams my inbox.
kellie pickler is awesome.
i think im gonna do my next skin with the theme fomr her awesome song.
how random,
anyway,
today i got the wii game ive wanted for like a damn long time.
YAY!
so yeah. very random. ive got nothing particular to post about
ciao! i am off to play my wii now =D

{/STEF}
And ain't it sad
You can forget about what we had
Take a look at her and do you like what you see
Or do you wish it was me?

Wacky Reso from iMUN@AC 09

2009-07-02T17:28:00.004+08:00

this is reeaaaaaaallllllly random.
a resolution from iMUN@AC 09, that i didnt write,
the delegate of uganda did and it is his, and no one else's.
i found it on facebook.=)
the wonders if it.
this is just a joke, so if you are offended, please tag and i shall remove it.

Main submitter: Uganda
Co-submitters: Burkina Faso, United States of America. People’s Republic of China, Austria, Vietnam, Mexico, Japan, United Kingdom , Croatia
Signatories: Palestine, France, Israel , Russian Federation

The question of political stability in Palestine

The Security Council,
Alarmed by the fact that the question of political stability in Palestine is a very crucial and time consuming issue a solution must be in place in order to solve it,
Having realized terrorist organization and internal political groups are one of the main reasons for this they must be dealt not with force but with other means,
Deeply convinced that global efforts are needed for this solution to work the member nations must help out and contribute to make love not war,
1. Calls upon the marriage of khaled mashal, a senior member of Hamas , three daughters to be betrothed to Mahmound Abbas three sons during this wedding the processions will include but not limited to these performances ,
A. Music by Austrian musicians playing tunes from “The Sound of Music”
B. Exotic dancers from Turkey
C. Chinese Acrobats from Beijing
D. Tribal Dancers from Burkina Faso and Uganda
E. Fire eaters from India

2. Encourages the food, first meant for consumption then a food fight under the purview of the UN, to be contributed from member nations in place of their annual budgetary contributions, to be but not limited to ,
A. Sushi from Japan
B. Peking Duck from China
C. Foie Gras from France
D. Burgers from the United States of America
E. Mutton soup from Uganda
F. Burrito from Mexico
G. Pho from Vietnam

3. Authorizes that during this Wedding the following must not be invited or put in cells when needed,
A. Kim jong il or sons
B. Madonna
C. Britney Spears
D. Sadam Hussein
E. Paris Hilton
F. Michael Jackson
G. Oprah

4. Designates that during this wedding a peace treaty be signed between Hamas and the Palestinian government failing to this would result in but not limited to,
A. The Bombing of Palestine by the Permanent Five Nations
B. Trade embargoes of oil by Iran, Ukraine, Venezuela, Russia, China, Brunei and all the other oil producing nations

5. Welcomes the idea that all delegates will be invited to the wedding however if this is not met consequences will be meted out on Palestine such as but not limited to ,
A. The Condemnation of Palestine
B. The declaration of war on Palestine for the objective of, but not limited to:
a. Having fun

yes, its us!

2009-06-28T17:12:00.003+08:00

back from cadet's fencing team comp!
we got first!
but why do i feel so crappy...?
dunno luh.
my friend was kinda pissed that he lost,
then he tried to make me pack his bag. -___-
hell no, luh.
'there are limits on the things i do for people' i told him
and it stops near packing their bags.
because before that, he was bugging me to get freakin water for him and
i eventually gave in 'cos it irked me a lot.
that meant crossing the road between the stadium and the mall
to go get him and his team 3 litres of drinking water.
annoying boy.
at least everything turned out pretty well,
so yeah.
it wasnt that bad.

my gosh. i cant believe you actually said that.
how could you?
you know, you've completely changed since last year.
last year, you were you
and this year you;re a damned jackass, really.
you know what?
just eff off and get a freakin' life,
it appears that you dont have one,
that doesn't involve pissing the hell out of me
of all people, i thought you;d have more sense in you.
well it seems tha ive thought wrong.

{/STEF}
shocked, appalled, pissed, angry all theses words can never express
how i feel now.

yes, its us!

2009-06-28T17:12:00.000+08:00

Skin Help, anyone?

2009-06-26T14:28:00.003+08:00

i changed my layout again.><
its some odd impulse thing, the longest time i had one skin was
like 2 months or so, my first skin.
(when i was back at life according and rumorsandwhispers.)
then have you noticed how odd it looks with 3 icons stacked on top of each other
(next to my entries)
can anyone help me with that?
im so hopeless at this.><
it looks so weird.
maybe i'll ask kim or something,
i still have so much history to do its insane.
agh. maybe i'll just chiong/rush..
yeah, yeah, i will.

{/STEF}
oh my skin looks retarded and i dont know where to edit to make it less pinky..

"come on, let's go out, get a couple of beers and get drunk; you and me."

2009-06-25T20:23:00.003+08:00

okay, title's a quote (or near quote; i have a crap memory)
from my friend asking my other (kinda sad) friend out.
anyway, today was the under 17 national fencing competetion and guess what?:
(rhetorical question)

I SUCKED BAD. ><
not going into detail, dont wanna either/

OHKAYE, anyway, my friend, Lynn got second in the entire female foil area!'
yay! im happy for her =)
my mom cane early to pick me up, so she had to wait for me since i
was watching the bouts.><
but it was fun, yeah.

( its okay, don't worry; you did your best.. we're all proud of you....)

afterwards, i didnt really pay attention to the finals
instead i watched my other friends, Bliss and Winston play on
Alisa's iPod touch!
it was fun. at one point Winston and i 'pisssed' Bliss off by touching the screen randomly.=)
yeah.
i wanna do better next year! or later, it depends.

{/STEF}

I told myself I wouldn't sleep 'til I searched the world from sea to sea

I made a wish upon a star, I turned around and there you were

-I thought I lost you

OVERWORK!

2009-06-23T17:37:00.003+08:00

ohmygosh,
I JUST REALISED HOW MUCH MORE WORK I HAVE!
AND HOW BUSY I AM!
gah.agh.T.T
im so dead.
ive got like 6 hours to complete my debate research on
medica ethics, law and justice, and india. (-___-")
die. then i need to complete my lit project AND 40 pages of history;
i am so screwed. ONLY ONE MORE WEEEEEEEKKKKKKKK??!!
THERE SHOULD BE AN OUTRAGE, DAMMIT.

{/STEF}
im screwed but i still <3 the s.c

iMUN@AC '09 day3 and afterparty

2009-06-21T15:09:00.004+08:00

its overrrrr!
noooooo!
oh well.
day 3 was fun. but General Assembly was kinda boring.
so i was in the lovely security council again!
their quotes are really quotable and funny!
"I WANNA BLOW STUFF UP!" -delegate of Russia, SC
then we ended with the closing ceremonies that
awarded the best delegate (within the council) awards
and doughnut day!
they were really good.:D
after that i went with (half) the Security Council for dinner.(:
we went to holland village, where we ate ate burger king,
partly because the delegate of U.K was "low on funds."
there we had our dinner and desert at Cold Rock! (:
i had honeycomb ice-cream with cookie dough,
jerry (uganda) had cheesecake with rasp and blackberries and cookiedough,
alison (mexico) had bubblegum with marshmallows, gummy bears and cookiedough.

managed to meet new people, see things from different points of view,
learn things i'd never know under normal circumstances,
(like the existence of places like Croatia and Burkina Faso, the fact that
Uganda has more goats than people, nuclear weapons are referred to as 'nukes', etc)

a wonderful experience really.
facebook pictures will come out soon!(:

{/STEF}
"we should bomb somalia so we wont have any more problems"
-delegate of russia, SC :D

this delegate...

2009-06-20T14:39:00.003+08:00

THIS DELEGATE OF THE PRESS APOLOGISES TO
THE DELEGATE OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA
FOR SAYING FOX NEWS OWNS USA,
THIS IS NOT TRUE AND
USA INDEED DOES OWN FOX NEWS.

happy now, security council's delegate of usa?